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These past couple of days I've been thinking of fashion. I do have twelve granddaughters so I have to keep up with these things. But it hasn't been girls' fashion that has caught my eye.

I've been noticing that there's a kind of blue jeans that seems to affect the men folks who wear them. They can be plain jeans, designer jeans, baggy jeans, stretch jeans or boot cut jeans. Style doesn't really seem to matter as long as this funny looking round circle is faded on the back pocket.

Men and boys who wear them have this strange looking lump on the side of their jaw that looks somewhat like they might have a terrible toothache. And they talk funny, like they wallowing a hunk of lumpy oatmeal around in their mouth.

Whatever it is that comes with those jeans must taste real good because the men would rather have it in their mouths than have a pretty girl hanging on their arm. It's a given that women folks are not interested in hanky panky when their feller's cheek is all swollen out like that. I've never seen a woman latching onto a feller in one of those passionate soap opera kisses when he's got a jaw loaded up with whatever it is that comes in those jeans.

It gives them a silly lopsided grin and makes their teeth turn a strange shade of brown. When they laugh they make a "m-m-m-m" sound rather than throwing back their heads for a full blown man-type fit of laughter.

Somehow the same symptoms can show up in a feller who is wearing bibbed overalls if there's a round spot on their hip pocket or even on the bibbed pocket of their overalls. It looks something like a  denim ring worm.

I try to be very careful when I shop for the gentlemen in my family. I check really close to make sure there's not a faded circle anywhere on what I'm about to buy. If there is, I shut my check book, hide my plastic credit card and make a bee line for home.