That poor Justice of the Peace who was standing there with
his little booklet in his hand attempting to get me and Mr. B married all those
years ago did not speak any form of Red Neck. And I was barely learning the
language that Mr. B had grown up with all those years. He was raised in
We chased off on a two day honeymoon in a hotel with a full
size bed. It was plenty big because we were in love. For the next thirty years
we had a full-sized, four-poster bed. We raised kids who were afraid of thunder
and crawled in with us. We had cats that slept with us in that bed and a Chihuahua
Then one night Mr. B put one arm under me, one over me and
hugged up right close to my back and snored. No rephrase that. He SNORED!!! In my
half sleep I thought a freight train had gotten loose from the tracks over west
of town and was plowing right through the bed between us.
Maybe it was karma telling me to get a bigger bed to give a
freight train more room should that ever happen again. Hey, superstition is
ingrained into my DNA so deep that a vinegar bath can’t erase it so we bought a
queen-sized bed…just in case! The snoring did not happen again and everyone was
happy.
For about fifteen years.
It must have been those five (or maybe ten…okay, okay, the
fifteen extra pounds I’d gained…don’t look at me like that…I’m not admitting
one more than fifteen) pounds I put on in those years, because after sleeping in
king-sized beds in hotels, that queen sized one was getting pretty small. And
the snoring had fired up again which told me karma was saying to get a bigger
bed. It was back to the furniture store to get a king-sized one with memory
foam.
It would be/was/is fantastic. Right up until we were
traveling, without reservations because I like to go where the wind takes us,
and the only hotel room available in the whole town had two full sized beds in it.
No problem. We started out that way and we could survive one
night! We crawled into bed and holy smoke! I couldn’t have cussed a cat without
getting a hair in my mouth. When I rolled over, Mr. B’s face was so close that
I had to refocus my eyes to keep from seeing two of him. And he SNORED! I love
the man but I did not vow to love two of him when I was standing there in front
of that JP and my marriage vows said nothing about the size of the bed in which
he had free reign with that snoring business.
I was so glad to get home to my own big old, wallowing sized
bed, that I vowed to never go anywhere without reservations again. How in the
world were we ever comfortable in that tiny bed with kids, cats and the Chihuahua
LOL! I love how karma just tells you these things. We have a queen size bed and it's fine at the moment. Enough for me, the hubby, and our toddler, when decides to crawl between us. No one snores....yet.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I started out in a twin bed at his parents house. Yep and his brother slept in the other twin bed. No hanky panty for us. We were waiting on an apartment to come available. When we finally got the apartment we slept on a queen size bed. Well about 2 months down the road the frame broke( I'm not going there). Well he brought home 6 cement blocks and put our mattress and box brings on them. No more squeaking bed frame. That was 30+ years ago. Now I have a dual king size adjustable bed that I have a remote control for that fills the mattress with air. I can now sleep like I was in those concrete blocks again or I can sleep like I'm floating on a cloud. Sorry Carolyn for your hubby's snoring, my hubby has to put up with mine! Yes I snore and get woke up several times a night with him telling me to turn over and get off my back! Those were the days!
ReplyDeleteI've got ear plugs on order, Kim! They should be here any day! LOL! Love the cement blocks story. Must tell you the one about the little old ladies who lived in the apartment below us someday!
DeleteLove to hear that one. Can't wait!
DeleteAnd you posted this at what time? 2:30 am! What was it...snoring, inspiration, hot flashes? King size is as big as they come, right?
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Redmama! Thank you for stopping by. I preposted the post but come to think of it, I was up at that time! LOL. I believe that California King might be a little bigger but I'd have to look that up! King size is as big as my bedroom can accommodate so I'll be satisfied with it!
DeleteWhen we got our king sized bed I thought I was in heaven. I sleep alone in a queen size bed now and use the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteIt's real nice to be able to sprawl out, isn't it? If I have one of my recurring nightmares it doesn't take me long to snuggle up to Mr. B's back, though!
DeleteSo funny!!! We have a California king and because he snores so bad we need it!!! I wish I could use anything to stop it, i've tried. I'll bring the sweet tea next time!!😊😊😊
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't help that I'm a light sleeper but I do have ear plugs on the way. We'll see if that helps!
DeleteLOL, my boyfriend has a California King, which is wonderful because he's 6' 5" and needs a lot of room. I still need earplugs for when he snores though.
ReplyDeleteAnd just today I find out that my earplugs which went to the wrong town in Oklahoma have now been delivered to...are you ready for this...New York! How does a company send a package to Dallas then to NEW YORK that has an Oklahoma address! LOL! Go figure!
DeleteSnoring I can tolerate. But my insomniac's 3:30 a.m. can't-sleep-gotta-read fests with the overhead light on I can't. He even turns on the overhead light to read the internet on his cell phone, which I point out is BACKLIT. So when I saw one of those sleep masks at City Drug as I was waiting for Heidi to fill a perscription, I snatched it up. (It was the last one. Maybe the only one.) It works beautifully. I barely wake up, and no longer do I have to answer questions like, "What are you doing with your head under that pillow? You're going to suffocate!"
ReplyDeleteWith my CPAP for Sleep Apnea, my pillow to prop my arm on that I got addicted to after breast cancer surgery, my satin covered pillow for between my knees after knee replacement, there is hardly room for me in my queen size. And since we both wander around at night, we sleep in separate rooms. That doesn't mean that SOMEONE's verrry loud house shoes do not reverberate through the hall!
ReplyDelete