Bumper Stickers...

If there is something a person would like to say, to or about a person, or just the world in general and that person is squeamish about standing on a soap box or writing a letter to the editor, then he/she is definitely a candidate to slap a bumper sticker on their car and allow the whole world to know what they are thinking.

Bumper stickers have been around forever and you can buy them anywhere: convenience stores, online, truck stops. Just take a look around and you can find one that fits your car and your personality. Leave that soap box in the closet and spend $2.99 on a bumper sticker.

Recently we took a little research trip. Seeing how many were "stickin' around" was quite an education.

The Driver of this Car Chews Tobacco. I slowed down enough to let another car pass me and follow right behind that dude. I grew up with a tobacco-dipping poppa and I did not need a long-winded explanation to understand that bumper sticker.

Save Our Trees: Stop Printing Tax Forms. Darlin' lady who is driving that big blue and white rusted out car with the big fins at the back. They stopped printing them years ago and now everything is done by e-filing. But I would imagine that you lost your other car to the IRS sometime in the past, right?

We are Born Naked, Wet and Hungry: Then Things Get Worse. Yep, that feller is a pessimist and I don't think I'll share a booth with him at the next ice cream store.

Cover Me: I'm Changing Lanes. Brand new Lincoln with a chunk out of the rear fender. Someone needs their glasses changed.

Learn from Your Parent's Mistakes: Use Birth Control. Seen on the back of a van with at least eight kids inside and one of those mama, poppa, eight kids, two dogs and four cats on the rear window. And they drove right past McDonalds. I could see tears rolling down the kids faces as I passed them.

Out of My Mind: Be Back in Five Minutes. A Caddy with a couple of elderly folks who had no idea that screen on the dash was a GPS and had a map of Texas spread out in front of them.

Very Funny, Scotty, Now Beam Down My Clothes. Black pickup truck with heavily tinted windows. I was glad I could not see inside.

Some Days I Wake Up Grumpy: Other Days I let Him Sleep. He must have been home snoozing and snoring because she was the only person in the car that afternoon.

We Have Enough Youth: How about a Fountain of Smart? On the tailgate of a pickup truck. If he finds that fountain, I hope he imparts some of the water to high school students who know everything.

Ask ME what it is Like to be Owned by a Cat? A big fluffy yellow cat was laid up in the rear window of a limousine. Wonder if that cat paid taxes, sent his kittens to private school and paid the chauffeur's life insurance policy for him.

My favorite one was: Consciousness. That Annoying Time Between Naps. Enough explanation but I did hope that the driver was conscious at the time.

Ancient Greece had Socrates. Early America had Ben Franklin. The 50's had creative bathroom graffiti and today we have bumper stickers. Wonder what's next?