Pistols...

So we made it to the airport in plenty of time despite six million people on their way to work that morning. I'd already printed our tickets so we didn't have to make that stop and we had a TSA pre stamp on them which meant I didn't have to take off my flip flops.

No problem. Just put my lap top and the biggest purse I own in the trays, send them through the machine and we'd be on our way to get a cup of coffee and a Danish before we boarded.

The rollers stopped. The lady looked at me like my mama did when I'd done something horrible...like that time I got caught skipping school. I started thinking: yes, I'd put my pink pocket knife in the checked luggage. No, I did not have a bottle of lotion, not even one that was three ounces or less, in my purse. No, I didn't have fingernail clippers, but I did have an emery board. Was that enough to warrant the old stink eye that she kept shooting my way.

Then she sent her cohort over to gather up three policemen. Oh, no, was it now against the rules to carry chap stick and dental floss?

"Who owns these two bags?" the policeman asked as if he couldn't believe I'd raise my hand.

"I do," I said. I hoped they were still serving breakfast in the jail cell where he took me but I wanted to hear my rights read out loud and if they scarred my pretty wrist watch with cuffs, believe me there would be a hissy in the airport.

"Is there a pistol in the second bag?"

"Yes, sir, there is and you are welcome to open it up and look at it," I said.

The expression on his face said he didn't know whether to send me straight to jail, do not pass go and do not collect $200 and don't even stop long enough for a Danish--or to laugh. Surely a gray haired granny would not try to take a pistol through TSA customs!

"It's in that bag right there, in a side pocket," I told him. "And it's a flash drive, not a gun."

He still didn't believe me but he and two other uniformed guys went to digging. They found my two inch metal pistol in a few seconds, pulled it out and with a look of pure bewilderment, looked over at me again.

"Pull the barrel straight out."

They did and found I was telling the truth. I did have a pistol. It was a flash drive and it did not have bullets. And yes, they took it away from me! You can not carry any form of a pistol on an airplane!!

So there it is--I wasn't even out of Oklahoma and was already causing trouble.

Beware all ye authors at the RWA Conference. I might not have a pistol anymore but I do have an emery board and a keychain!!

July 5

I'm always so glad to see July 5! I don't care if it's Monday, Tuesday or--you get the idea. It doesn't matter what day July 5 is. If Mr. B is alive, unhurt and well, then it is a good day.

Explanation: He arrived home on June 28 and on July 4 his aunt invited us down to her place near Harrisburg, PA. She had tickets for us to go to Hershey that day to a big park where we would go to a Kitty Wells concert.

July 4 started out well. She made a lovely breakfast and Mr. B and I spent the day wandering around the park. We were so much in love that everything was beautiful. Except the roller coaster! It was not beautiful and no, thank you, I did not need a second ride on that demon thing. And to this day, I still do not do rides at amusement parks. I wanted Mr. B to think I was a tough, sassy Texas Rebel with a big hair do. That roller coaster came close to turning me into a whiny, whimpering bag of bones and it messed up my hair. If I'd known a roller coaster was on the agenda that day I would have used a heck of a lot more of the hair lacquer that morning.

Then the day ended and his cousins asked us to go swimming with them and their wives/girlfriends. Now I'd spent my whole life swimming in Pennington Creek in Tishomingo, Oklahoma, so that was no problem for this country girl. So I donned my bathing suit, took along a towel so I could sit on the shore and got ready for an evening of watching my hot fiancé those tight fittin' trunks.

He climbed the tree at the edge of the water right behind his cousins. I remember him asking, "Is it deep enough to dive?"

And they answered, "Sure, it is. We do it all the time."

Now the difference is that they were about five and a half feet tall and he was well over six feet. And they were skimming the water not diving straight in. His feet were still sticking out of the water when his head made contact with a nice big flat rock on the bottom of the creek.

We went straight to the emergency room where they put thirteen stitches in the top of his head and told him to report to the hospital near his home town the next morning. After a long, painful night we followed orders and he was admitted for traction for the next ten days.

Now move ahead one year. We made the decision to move back to Oklahoma for him to go to college and we arrived on July 4. That meant that Mr. B met his mother-in-law for the first time on July 4.

He survived both but since then we celebrate the holiday very quietly. I'm glad all stores are closed and that the children are very busy with their own hoop-las! That means we can stay home all day and wait for the holiday to pass.

So far; so good!!

Happy Fourth of July

This is the scene out of my office window this morning! A brand new flag with the creases still on it flying in our front yard. Wishing all y'all a wonderful holiday with family and friends. And thanking all our servicemen and women who can't be with their families today, for their sacrifice so we can enjoy this day with our families!

God Bless America!